FFXII: Revenant Wings (5) Ch. 3 Sidequests – A Study in Sky Pirate Morality

Last time, Clan Vaanity backed up their claims to be “good” sky pirates with an act of selfless heroism, taking oodles of arrows and cactus spines to protect four whole aegyls from evil sky pirates. Even Ba’Gamnan took some for the team, thanks to Tomaj’s enslavement gadget whose ethics are deeply  problema— la la la I can’t hear you I have a continent of hapless natives to save!

Llyud says we need to hurry into the Fane of Something Vaguely Egyptian-Sounding to stop more sky pirates from desecrating the auralith (bigass magical crystal) at the heart of sky island #2. However, Tomaj’s notice board has been bleeping at us about sidequests that opened up back on sky island #1.

Tomaj's notice board. Mission one says: Bug Hunt. Bugs. Lots of Bugs. They're crawling all over the Bosco Pampa on the Windward Isles. Antlions, by the look of them. Get down there and squash them, Vaan. It's the only way to be sure.

Should we hurry on to the Path of Plot Advancement? Or indulge in Sidequests Before Saving the World? Well, a little bird told me that Revenant Wings sidequests often evaporate before the next chapter. And the current chapter has the ominous name of “What Goes Up…” Look. I wasn’t born yesterday. I recognize an RPG Point of No Return when I see it.

Therefore, I’m going back to Zephyr Island one more time to perform pest control and treasure mop-up duty. I’m sure the evil sky pirates will play cribbage or something until we return.

First off, there’s a bug hunt mission prosaically called “Bug Hunt.”

(Mission title screen) Bug Hunt: The Bosco Pampa

Kytes: Get a load of that!

Yes, Kytes, believe it or not, there are lots of bugs. Sometimes I think these characters don’t bother to read title screens at all.

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Final Fantasy Dimensions: A Half-Assed Playthrough

I have unfinished FFVII and FFX Let’s Plays, I haven’t gotten to Lightning Returns, I was wasting time playing Kingdom Hearts for the first time, and I’ve fallen hopelessly behind in Final Fantasy fan discussions and game commentary on  [community profile] moogle_university. My FFX novella, Love Her and Despair, is languishing with the last five chapters in a messy and forgotten state.

What a PERFECT time to start a new game playthrough!

FF Dimensions Title Screen

Zencribnotes on Tumblr inspired me to try Final Fantasy Dimensions again. It’s an iPad/Android native Final Fantasy game that came out in 2010.  When I last tackled it, I couldn’t fully appreciate how much it was a homage to the early FFs. Now, by golly, I’m going to play Final Fantasy Nostalgia Bingo, because that’s the main virtue of this game.

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Final Fantasy VII: More of Same

Barret: The planet's full of Mako energy. People here use it every day.

Old-school fans playing Final Fantasy VII: *squealing brakes* Hold everything! When does Final Fantasy start? I bought a frickin’ Final Fantasy game, and you’re foisting SF on me? Where the heck is this coming from? What does this have to do with Final Fantasy!?

Mythology major: Gee, I’m glad you asked that question.

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Final Fantasy IV Recap, Ep. I: No Matter How Dark the Knight

Once again, I’m playing the iPad remaster of the the Nintendo DS remake of the original NES Final Fantasy IV — got that? The iOS version is almost identical to the DS, except with crisper graphics and a lack of overwrought Opening FMVs. So here’s the DS opening:

Aaah, shiny. I’m relieved that the laws of physics are different in Final Fantasy, because our metaphorical Tower of Babel has reached the silly stage. At this rate, Final Fantasy XX will have to resort to something like the “How far is Mars?” animation to reach the top of the tower before the closing credits.

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Final Fantasy III Recap, Ep. V: A Little Help from Our Friends

Before we finish off Final Fantasy III’s endgame, here’s a rare video: the original Japanese FFIII.

Note that whoever did this somehow replaced Luneth’s sprite with one of the Four Old Men sprites, and a couple battle sprites are scrambled. Nevertheless, it shows the NPC storylines are all here, except for the individual friendships with particular party members.

As with Final Fantasy I, it seems that original FFIII presented the party as a blank slate upon which we could project our own character development, dialog and proficiencies, while the world and NPCs were at least somewhat fleshed out. Again, this mimics old tabletop RPGs and D&D, in which the game master provided the story, world, and npcs, while the players were in charge of their characters’ histories and development.

We’ve gotten so accustomed to games that create the player characters for us that we’ve quite forgotten the original strong distinction between PCs and NPCs.

Now, back to our playthrough of Final Fantasy III and the grand finale.

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Final Fantasy III Recap, Episode II: Roaming Sheep

Aside: I was tempted to call this episode “Oh. Okay.” in honor of Sev’s recurring response to all the WTF incidents during her playthrough of Final Fantasy III.

However, it turns out there is a supreme moment of WTFery involving a sheep in this episode, so… just keep Sev’s Mantra in mind.

Now let us roam as sheep.

Off we go with Desch the Fifth Party Member (uh oh, we know where THIS is going) to find the Gnomish Village! Poor Arc is hoping he won’t have to use the Mini Spell…

Arc protests Mini Spell

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