FFXII: Revenant Wings (7) Chap. 3 Cont’d – Backstabbing Bangaa

Last time on Let’s Play Revenant Wings, Clan Vaanity continued the hallowed Final Fantasy tradition of letting the villain smash the vitally important thing we were supposed to protect. Oh, and Balthier supposedly died next to a Fran-shaped pile of pixels.

Good times.

Unfortunately, after an End of Act One climax, there is often a lull. So I’m afraid this installment has only a brief segment of plot before Tomaj hijacks the story for airship remodeling and sidequests. I’ll warn you when we get there, in case you want to skip ahead.

The Music of Comic Relief strikes up to take our minds off our recent failure. Remember how I said Ba’Gamnan slipped away at the end of the last battle? My bad. He falls in behind the party as we exit Fane #2 with our tails between our legs. Yes, I know, he’s the one with the tail.

Mission 3-5: Backstabbing Bangaa

Outside, we are accosted by Ba’Gamnan’s bangin’ bangaa gang (Say that five times fast: the sobriety test for Ivalician speed traps).

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FFXII Revenant Wings (2) – Chapter 2 – Flap, Flap

So, this week, I’m back from a convention and have 5000 more words of a novella draft to write, and…

Dog from Up movie saying "Squirrel!"

Revenant Wings is proving to be surprisingly distracting for such a lightweight game. Apparently I was in the mood for mental popcorn.

An exultant FMV makes us feel like we’ve achieved something despite the blasphemy of not having a world map. (Just kidding; I played far too many early games without world maps to care.)

I should stop yik yakking and sit back to enjoy the most uplifting, pretty FMV that a teeny tiny DS screen can manage. In 2x magnification, but still.

Woo hoo! Wave at Bhujerba (?) as we fly by!

Airship flying past Bhujerba

No idea what we’re flying into here… Mist? Balthier’s aftershave? Exploded sparkly vampires?

Flying in golden sparklies

I love the refreshing Phon Coast theme; I can almost hear that blue jay sound effect that someone must’ve imagined sounded like a seagull.

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FFXII Revenant Wings (1) – Prologue & Chapter One

I never thought I’d get a chance to play Revenant Wings, but by golly there’s a nice open source emulator, DeSmuME, which works like a charm. (So far.) Thanks to FinalFantasyThings on Tumblr for alerting me to its existence!

So let’s jump aboard the Ivalice train, now with more Chibi.

An opening FMV picks up where FFXII left off. There’s a sweet rendition of the Final Fantasy main theme to get us in the mood:

Scrappy kids Penelo and Vaan have taken off in their glorified pod racer in pursuit of their sky pirate mentors Balthier and Fran, after they reclaimed the airship they’d left in the kids’ care.

And I warn you right now, Vaan and Penny are easily young enough to be my children, so I’m going to be Gamer Mom through this whole playthrough, cheering them on and encouraging their fridge art endeavors.

The vertical split-screen would originally have been displayed on two screens of a tiny clamshell display. I’m going to upscale the itsy bitsy 256-pixel-wide screenshots to 400 pixels for those of us with granny eyes.

Penelo and Vaan

Cutesy chibi graphics would have irritated me once upon a time, but I’ve graduated from world-weary cynic to second childhood, and I’m absolutely in the mood for something heartwarming instead of yet another grimdark dystopia.

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Final Fantasy Dimensions: A Half-Assed Playthrough

I have unfinished FFVII and FFX Let’s Plays, I haven’t gotten to Lightning Returns, I was wasting time playing Kingdom Hearts for the first time, and I’ve fallen hopelessly behind in Final Fantasy fan discussions and game commentary on  [community profile] moogle_university. My FFX novella, Love Her and Despair, is languishing with the last five chapters in a messy and forgotten state.

What a PERFECT time to start a new game playthrough!

FF Dimensions Title Screen

Zencribnotes on Tumblr inspired me to try Final Fantasy Dimensions again. It’s an iPad/Android native Final Fantasy game that came out in 2010.  When I last tackled it, I couldn’t fully appreciate how much it was a homage to the early FFs. Now, by golly, I’m going to play Final Fantasy Nostalgia Bingo, because that’s the main virtue of this game.

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Final Fantasy VII, Ep. 10: Let’s Do the Mind Screw Again

“The illusion which exalts us is dearer to us than ten thousand truths.” ~ Aleksandr Pushkin

In the most recent two episodes, Cloud has given Sephiroth the Black Materia, punched Aeris while possessed, nearly cut her in two while possessed, and stood there like a man frozen in corbomite while Sephiroth performed Death From Above.

Let’s pause for a moment to celebrate the hoary Final Fantasy tradition of playing into enemy hands.

I'm sorry I deceived even you, Leo

But now that we’ve handed Sephiroth the Black Materia on a platter and let Aeris die, there’s no way we could screw up anything else, is there? I mean, it’s not like we could give him the Black Materia again, right? Ahahaha.

Well then. While Cloud was angsting over Aeris’ bloodless body, Sephiroth idly mentioned his upcoming journey to the Northern Crater. Naturally, we must accept this veiled invitation.

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Final Fantasy VI, Ep VII: Finale and Final Thoughts

At long last, I’ve got all my party members together, and it’s time to take on Joker the Evil Clown!

Edgar: It's time to break into Kefka's domain!

But wait! Since a major portion of this game is devoted to rounding up and then re-rounding up a cast of fourteen, let’s get some sound bites from our assembled war band! I’ll be slipping in some wrap-up game commentary and character analysis; I hope I don’t bore you.

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Final Fantasy VI Recap, Ep. VI: Adventures in Cat Herding

Whew! I got  bogged down rounding up all my scattered party members — seriously, we just lived through the end of the world and everything, but did they have to be difficult and run off and join weird cults and get themselves lost on mountaintops, in the depths of monster-infested catacombs and so on? — so this playthrough is once again tardy.

Cid: You're finally awake! Celes: I..feel like I've been sleeping forever.

Hey, it wasn’t that  long since my last post.

So, last time in my Let’s Play Final Fantasy VI, the world went to Hades in a haversack. Miraculously, the crustal ruptures we saw in that exciting end-of-the-world cutscene did not result in Siberia-sized lava outpourings, a planetwide blanket of sulfuric acid fog/rain, or other Permian-Extinction-style armageddon. (Geology porn… bookmark for later!)

Instead, as this is Final Fantasy, Celes awakens in a blasted world that’s creepy and sad and fragmented. FFXIII-2 riffed on this trope again 17 years later, and the music from its Dying World fits nicely:

Yeap, it really is that bad.

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Final Fantasy VI Recap, Ep. III: Screaming Across the Sky

Before I jump in with the next segment of the walkthrough, I need to back up and reiterate something that commenter inked_compass observed about the last scene, when our scattered party reunites in  Narshe: “More of the Returners talking about Terra rather than to her. Good job guys.”

It’s also true of Celes. Locke bursts in to report that Celes told him there’s an Imperial army marching on Narshe. Celes doesn’t say a word then or when Locke, Cyan and Edgar argue over whether she’s an Imperial spy:

FFVI: Celes Joined Returners

The ex-general’s silence raises an intriguing question: Has she joined the Returners? All she’s said in-game is that she is, or was, General Celes, now “nothing but a traitor.” Those could be the words of a loyal soldier smitten with shame or sorrow at having been cast out. And Locke strikes me as the sort to assume the best of people.

Whatever Celes is thinking, I hope to see her and Terra speak up for themselves and display more autonomy soon.

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Final Fantasy V Recap, Ep. IV: Yep, We Still Suck

To recap our lighthearted romp through FFVland: three Crystals are kaput, our first ship has sunk, Faris is still the most glorious pirate, Lenna is a friend to everything with fur and scales, Galuf has regained at least some of his memories, and Butz is still a charming goofball. So, can our erstwhile Four Warriors of Light save the remaining Crystal?

FFVIII: Seifer Laughing

 

…no.

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FFIV Recap, Ep VI: I Aten’t Ded Yet

Last time on “Let’s Play Final Fantasy IV,” we met Freddicante, the leg-baring, spandex-rocking, nipple-flashing Archfiend of Fire.

He trounced Edge the Ninja Prince of Eblan and swooshed off with his back to the party of adventurers and their assorted bows, lances, bigass swords and summons.

FFIV: Until We Meet Again

Fucks given? Zero.

(See this, Squeenix? Seriously. See this? Your final boss is usually BORING. This is why you don’t kill off your minibosses like Gilgamesh, Rubicante and Jihl Nabaat prematurely.)

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