Final Fantasy IV Recap, Ep. I: No Matter How Dark the Knight

Once again, I’m playing the iPad remaster of the the Nintendo DS remake of the original NES Final Fantasy IV — got that? The iOS version is almost identical to the DS, except with crisper graphics and a lack of overwrought Opening FMVs. So here’s the DS opening:

Aaah, shiny. I’m relieved that the laws of physics are different in Final Fantasy, because our metaphorical Tower of Babel has reached the silly stage. At this rate, Final Fantasy XX will have to resort to something like the “How far is Mars?” animation to reach the top of the tower before the closing credits.

Continue reading

Share on FacebookShare on TumblrPin on PinterestTweet about this on TwitterShare on Reddit

Final Fantasy III Recap, Episode II: Roaming Sheep

Aside: I was tempted to call this episode “Oh. Okay.” in honor of Sev’s recurring response to all the WTF incidents during her playthrough of Final Fantasy III.

However, it turns out there is a supreme moment of WTFery involving a sheep in this episode, so… just keep Sev’s Mantra in mind.

Now let us roam as sheep.

Off we go with Desch the Fifth Party Member (uh oh, we know where THIS is going) to find the Gnomish Village! Poor Arc is hoping he won’t have to use the Mini Spell…

Arc protests Mini Spell

Continue reading

Share on FacebookShare on TumblrPin on PinterestTweet about this on TwitterShare on Reddit