Tag Archives: prophecy

Final Fantasy Dimensions: A Half-Assed Playthrough

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I have unfinished FFVII and FFX Let’s Plays, I haven’t gotten to Lightning Returns, I was wasting time playing Kingdom Hearts for the first time, and I’ve fallen hopelessly behind in Final Fantasy fan discussions and game commentary on  [community profile] moogle_university. My FFX novella, Love Her and Despair, is languishing with the last five chapters in a messy and forgotten state.

What a PERFECT time to start a new game playthrough!

FF Dimensions Title Screen

Zencribnotes on Tumblr inspired me to try Final Fantasy Dimensions again. It’s an iPad/Android native Final Fantasy game that came out in 2010.  When I last tackled it, I couldn’t fully appreciate how much it was a homage to the early FFs. Now, by golly, I’m going to play Final Fantasy Nostalgia Bingo, because that’s the main virtue of this game.

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FF7 Recap, Ep. IV: The Nibelheim Flashback

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Woo hoo! It’s time to head out of town and tackle the world map. A whole new wooooorld! A new enchaaanting point of v… good gods, what is this trash heap? Oh, right, Midgar.

Cloud on the world map

Actually, before we can start gadding about, we must egress the Shinra building where I left Cloud hanging. (Or was that Rufus?)

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FFVII Recap, Ep. III: Fun Storming the Castle

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Last time, we psychoanalyzed the most blockheaded hero in the history of gaming…

…and put him through his paces as a cross-dresser and champion of put-upon sex workers (in which task he failed miserably, since we left Don Corneo alive with his family jewels intact. Phooey).

Reluctantly, I must set Wall Market frivolity aside and get back to saving the Planet.

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Final Fantasy VI Ep V: There Goes the Neighborhood

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Last time on “Let’s Play Final Fantasy VI,” Emperor Gestahl, baby snatcher, ravager of towns, enslaver of Espers, told us that, “After all I have put them [the Espers] through, it is up to me to set things right. That is why… I need to borrow Terra’s power.” So he’s asked us to take him to the Espers to apologize.

Gestahl: We must make for Crescent Island aboard the freighter from Albrook.

This screencap is boring, apart from the unusual combination of lobster and sushi rolls and roast turkey, but I just want to stress that he said we.

Because…well, you’ll see shortly.

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Final Fantasy III Recap, Episode II: Roaming Sheep

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Aside: I was tempted to call this episode “Oh. Okay.” in honor of Sev’s recurring response to all the WTF incidents during her playthrough of Final Fantasy III.

However, it turns out there is a supreme moment of WTFery involving a sheep in this episode, so… just keep Sev’s Mantra in mind.

Now let us roam as sheep.

Off we go with Desch the Fifth Party Member (uh oh, we know where THIS is going) to find the Gnomish Village! Poor Arc is hoping he won’t have to use the Mini Spell…

Arc protests Mini Spell

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Final Fantasy III Recap, Episode I: Cute Overload

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DIGRESSION BECAUSE NERD.

The original, 1990 Japanese Final Fantasy III starts out differently. It’s much more like FFI, with four completely generic, unnamed “Onion Knights” (aka “Onion Kids”) bumbling into a cave after an earthquake.

Here’s a derpy fan translation of the original:

Official Square material makes all four of them 14, whence the kawaii generic Onion Knight representing FFIII in Dissidia.

In 2006, FFIII finally came out in English via a Nintendo DS remaster that made the heroes more than cardboard and converted 8-bit sprites to 3D chibis. That’s the version that got ported to iOS. So with apologies to old-school purists…

Final Fantasy III: Victory dance

Luneth: …
Rydia: …
Ingus: …
Arc: BOING BOING BOING!

Me: *Takes 2 HP from TEH CUTE*

Now, let’s head out to the recap!

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