Last time on Let’s Play Final Fantasy IV, our Batman angstbucket hero made lots of friends.

And lost them.

Let’s review Cecil’s Very Bad Week.

• slaughtered innocent civilians while stealing their Crystal, feels remorse
• lost his position as proud leader of the Red Wings air brigade
• lost faith in / betrayed by the king who raised him as a son
• too stupid to realize the king was using him again for dastardly deeds
• accidentally burned a village to the ground and killed a bunch of summoners
• including the mother of a sweet child he’s now guarding in atonement
• except now he’s lost the child and she’s probably drowned or dead
• attacked by an Octomammoth, which means that somewhere, in some fanfic, Cecil is stuck in tentacle!porn hell
• failed to save the kingdoms of Damcyan and Fabul from assault by the troops he used to command
• three out of four Crystals now in enemy hands thanks to his failures
• best friend has betrayed and tried to kill him
• girlfriend nearly died, then kidnapped by villain just to torment Cecil
• shipwrecked on the way to rescue said girlfriend
• as far as Cecil knows, the friends he dragged along on that rescue mission are dead
• girlfriend is gorgeous and underdressed, yet he’s trapped inside armor that requires Jaws of Life to remove, so they probably haven’t even made it to first base
• he’s named Cecil Harvey.

Ouch. Surely things can’t get any worse?

Ahahahaha. Let’s go find out.

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